Flashbacks: 1995 in the Beginning

This is the year I started to submitting my poetry to publishers and poetry collections that were contests to get into their books that they had every year. This was a time that I was in a transition in my life and I was in my first year of college and I was going through some life decisions that actually landed me here in Washington DC.

Please enjoy this flashback into my life. You will be looking into a portal that will show you a passage to my heart in 1995. Please enjoy these poems.

Poem I: PAIN FROM WITHIN

Pain comes from many places
Pain which hurts the most comes from within
Pain is like a cancer that eats a little each time
Pain grows each year until I die from the pain
One day it will end my life
Pain inflicts thoughts of depression and guilt
Pain someday gets to much and I explode
Pain causes me to find ways to Relieve the Pain
But Pain does not go away
Just subsides until tomorrow or next week
Pain is a disease that wont go away
Pain

December 1995

Poem 2: Emotions of Depression


Depression comes from within
Melancholy sets in first which dampens the spirit of life
Sorrow spreads affecting the heart first
Sorrow spreads affecting the heart first
Sorrow shuts down the heart and you retreat to within
Sorrow starts affecting the brain making you think
About what is wrong with you but really nothing is wrong
It is just all in your head
You must control your thoughts or else you will start
Thinking bad thoughts like
Sacrificing your life to relieve the depression
You carry the depression the your grave when you take your life
Depression must be overcome and destroyed by
Talking to your friend your parents about your problems
Depression can be destroyed only by you getting help
Depression

December 1995

Poem 3: Dreams

Dreams of beauty and imagination
Dream worlds of creation and paradise
Spirits of joy play within human minds
Darkness arises around us
Yet we lighten the night with our dreams.
Goals and Dreams are created
At night within human complex lives
The goal is easier to accomplish
When you dream it first
Most of all what is happier?
To do your dreams and goals as you live
Or to accomplish your dreams and goals
Dreams are very beautiful
To humans it is the most important
Or to accomplish your dreams and goals.
Dreams are very beautiful.
To humans it is the most important
Without dreams life would end.
To all the dreams
May life bring your dreams to become true

January 1996

Poem 4: Lonely Being

Loneliness filled my existence
I flutter upon my life
Wondered for five years in Anguish and nights shadow
As I wait for the right one that will grasp and cuddle my heart
Along awaited love and lust
As my soul awaits for the individual that can love me for the person
I am in my being
As my being dies each day I await for the loving soul that will take me
To my eternal paradise

January 1996

Poem 5: Grasping Thoughts

Thoughts of confused filled ideas grasp my heart
Remedies of past relationship imprison my mind
Beauty wrench's at my heart of thoughts
Thoughts of beautiful loving memories fill my heart
Thoughts of pain filled memory corrupts my heart and soul
My light of vibrant love and logic fades away
Mist of beauty and love slips into my feelings
Falling into a hole of thought filled lions and tears at my spiritual
being.
I lose grasp and drop into a depression that imprisons my soul
As my heart bleeds upon the fruit of emotional feeling.

Feb. 1996